July 15, 2014

Hopefully by the time you’re listening to this, the strike of a Telluride ski resort is over, ski patrollers are again joyfully sliding down mountains and getting paid for it, and tourists are once again being overcharged for, well, everything.

But there are some lessons buried in this story of ski bums going all Norma Ray on big skis backside. Forget big pharma, big ski runs mountains. And that’s real power. I mean, how much power do you wield when you can run a friggin mountain?

Colorado has arguably the finest skiing on the planet. I say arguably because I haven’t skied in years. Not since my children robbed me of my money, my free time, and my functional knees. Back then you didn’t have to sell plasma to buy a lift ticket.

You could sneak up to Eldora for 1/2 day for about 20 bucks and still have money for gas today. A one day lift ticket at Telluride will set you back a casual $286. Holidays. Try 326.

A beer cost 10 bucks. Overnight parking runs $40 to $50, which is a bargain assuming you sleep in your car. A hotel or condo will be about $500 a night, assuming you demand basic indoor plumbing. The point is, Telluride isn’t just wildly expensive for the people who work there, it’s wildly expensive for the people who pay to keep the place afloat.

Customers. The town needs them too. Now, I sympathize with ski patrollers wanting more money in an overpriced town. Who doesn’t want more money?

That part’s a human. But there’s a disconnect if you want the patrollers to get a huge 30% raise while you also complain about the cost of skiing. Labor is the biggest cost in any service industry, including skiing. You can’t have your moguls and eat them too.

What employees get paid is only a fraction of what employees cost. Employers also cover payroll taxes, workers comp, unemployment insurance, and, in Colorado, now paid family leave. Considering the ski patrollers spend their days flying downhill between trees at 40 miles an hour, I’d wager their workers comp premiums rival those of coal miners. Then there’s the lifestyle factor.

Let’s talk about some lifestyle choices. Dead heads would live on grilled cheese sandwiches to follow around the Grateful Dead, get stoned and dance like an epileptic octopus. It’s a lifestyle choice with great meaning for them. Harley riders have their odd lifestyle.

I know surfers who must live within running distance of the beach and will leave their wife in labor if the waves are good, but nothing compares to the monastic life of a ski bum. Nature or nurture, I don’t know. You can force ski bums into conversion therapy but they’ll just scream they were Born This Way. I I think they have their own pride flag.

I celebrate them. Hell, I even support ski bum marriage, despite what the moral majority says. If you were raised in Colorado, you know these people personally. Ski bums are wonderful.

They’re part of the magic of ski towns. The old Warren Miller films were basically anthropological documentaries about their subculture. But ski bum on strike is an oxymoron. They’re already on strike.

They opted out of a normal life. That’s the point. Most eventually grow up, sadly. Get real jobs and tell stories about the seasons they live.

Lived on ramen and chairlift coffee. They wouldn’t trade it for anything big. Ski should value them and I think they do. They are the best ambassadors for the industry.

Thus the generous 13% raise offer. But the patrollers turned it down demanding 20 to 30%. That’s crazy given another crop of ski bums will be ready to fill their ski boots. Damn that free market.

It applies to ski bums too, but why shut the whole town down over a strike from a small handful of people? Well, if Big Ski was ever to send a message that they will stand up to union intimidation, now’s the time to do it. Our ridiculously dry winter has left almost no snow on their mountain and that man made stuff doesn’t cover much. People weren’t going skiing anyway.

The perfect time to stare down the union. If you enjoy skiing without raiding your kids college fund. Hope Big Ski holds firm.