gun safe

Why is it that Victor Marx is going to become a superb governor? Because he’s the self-proclaimed world’s fastest at disarming someone holding a gun to his head. Seriously, watch the videos. It’s pretty impressive.

How could I not vote for him?

Think that’s ridiculous? During negotiations over the Colorado River Compact, things will get heated. A governor who can snatch a pistol away with his bare hands might just save Colorado’s water supply.

If Attorney General Phil Weiser could disarm an armed attacker just a little faster, he’d probably get my vote instead. I’m a single-issue voter.

You may value other qualifications. You might be looking for a governor who “may” have killed people, or launched missile attacks, or led some 150 successful paramilitary rescues of women and children.

Agreed, these are all needed skills to be a successful governor, but snatching guns with your hands is definitely the most important.

Sadly, I have to admit there is the slightest possibility Victor Marx won’t become Colorado’s next governor, because of, um, voter fraud.

So, after the stolen election what will Colorado look like a year from now?

Pretty ugly.

Democrats gone wild

The national media is focused on the anti-Semitic socialist who won the Democratic primary to replace Diana DeGette. More important to Colorado’s future, though, is what happened in the legislative primaries.

Several Democratic lawmakers lost to candidates even further to the left. Even if Democrats don’t gain a single legislative seat this fall, the legislature itself is going to become more progressive.

Given the anti-president environment that usually accompanies a midterm election, and the hefty anti-Trump hate in Colorado, don’t be surprised if Democrats expand their legislative seats to a veto-proof majority.

We’ll likely have a progressive academic as governor paired with the most left-leaning legislature in Colorado history.

And you’ll find yourself casually browsing real estate listings in Texas.

The first target will almost certainly be the Labor Peace Act.

For nearly 80 years, it has been Colorado’s uneasy compromise between organized labor and employers. It has prevented Colorado from becoming either a Right-to-Work state, as business groups prefer, or a forced-union-dues state, as many unions would like.

Twice in the past two years Gov. Jared Polis vetoed legislation that would have dismantled that compromise. Phil Weiser almost certainly signs it.

Then comes technology.

Several of Polis’ most controversial vetoes involved legislation that many in Colorado’s growing tech sector warned would make the state a hostile place to innovate.

One bill restricted companies from using pricing algorithms to recommend prices for products and services. Another prohibited software and data companies from recommending rental rates to landlords.

Whether you agree with those policies isn’t really the point. Companies deciding where to invest will increasingly view Colorado as a state eager to regulate first and compete later.

If it moves, regulate it

Expect more regulation elsewhere as well.

Rideshare companies will likely face additional reporting and operational mandates, which usually means higher costs that eventually find their way into your Uber receipt.

Social media companies could be required to provide more information to government regulators while facing new restrictions on content moderation.

Along with high energy prices and intermittent power, the dream of Colorado being a tech hub will dwindle.

Government itself may become even less transparent. Polis vetoed legislation that would have made Colorado’s open-records process slower, more expensive and more opaque. Under a new administration, that bill could easily become law.

Gun owners should also brace themselves.

During his eight years in office, Polis repeatedly insisted he opposed an outright ban on so-called assault weapons. He signed enough gun-control legislation to make Colorado the most gun-regulated state in the nation, but he drew the line there. No ban on “assault weapons” (guns that function the same as every other gun, but look meaner).

Gov. Weiser will gleefully sign the ban.

No one has ever confused Jared Polis with Barry Goldwater.

But after a year of a Weiser administration working alongside an even more progressive legislature, Colorado working families, business owners and gun owners may discover something they never imagined possible. We’ll miss the days when Polis was governor.

By this time next year those of us who have been watching the regulatory elite turn Colorado into the lethargic, unaffordable, overpriced state it is might regret Victor Marx isn’t performing exorcisms in the governor’s mansion.

Jon Caldara is president of Independence Institute, a free market think tank in Denver.