Phillip Morris

Another week, another column about Colorado’s ruling class treating democracy like a state trooper treats the speed limit. It’s for other people.

I swear, I want to write about literally anything else — aliens, sports, lab-grown meat, Bigfoot opening a vape shop in Pueblo.

But Colorado’s legislature has never been more abusive to the citizenry, or hypocritical.

The kings of Colorado

To save time, I won’t rehash the endless “No Kings,” “Trump is destroying democracy,” “our sacred duty is protecting democracy, so be happy you have us” self-promotion constantly ejaculated by Colorado’s ruling class.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s pretend every word of it is true. Let’s assume President Donald Trump wakes every morning and convenes a joint special-forces meeting to steal democracy in Colorado.

If democracy is truly hanging by a thread, then surely Colorado’s Democrat majority is heroically defending it. I mean, they say that’s their job one, next to banning ketchup packets (Senate Bill 146, seriously).

Which leaves me confused.

Because from my tiny little “just-a-citizen” brain perspective, they seem to spend an awful lot of time removing voters’ power, hiding meetings, dodging taxpayer consent and nullifying ballot initiatives.

Maybe I’m missing the advanced theory of democracy taught only in elite government seminars and overpriced Aspen retreats.

Take Senate Bill 150. It strips away two-thirds of RTD’s publicly elected board seats and replaces them with appointees.

Silly me. I thought democracy involved electing people.

But apparently true democracy is when insiders choose insiders to protect the public from the dangerous unpredictability of… the public.

Then there’s House Bill 1326, which exempts the all-powerful Public Utilities Commission from open meetings laws.

Again, I’m sure there’s a sophisticated democracy-enhancing explanation for this.

Perhaps democracy works best when the public cannot actually watch government decisions being made. Sort of a “trust us you peasants” model of self-government.

House Bill 1418 puts a “fee” on games young people play online.

Now, if it walks like a tax, quacks like a tax and drains your wallet like a tax, a normal person might call it a tax. But by labeling it a “fee,” lawmakers can dodge asking voters for permission.

Which is convenient. Because asking permission from citizens can really slow down democracy.

Even more amazing, this fee appears large enough that under existing law it should require voter approval anyway. Yet lawmakers are still trying to skip the vote.

Apparently democracy is strongest when elections are treated as optional.

Truth is optional

Then there’s Senate Bill 135, which takes your TABOR refunds. At least this one goes to the ballot. But the ballot language will say the money goes to education.

In reality, only a small fraction actually does.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but using misleading ballot language to convince voters to surrender their money feels less like defending democracy and more like a used car salesman turning back the odometer on a lemon.

Now comes the cherry on top, House Bill 1430, filed in the final chaotic moments of the session. Its purpose is beautifully simple: invalidate a citizen initiative that might appear on the ballot this fall. Kill what voters might vote for before they vote on it.

I always believed democracy meant if voters approve something at the ballot box, government respects the outcome. Isn’t that what the anger against Trump and Tina Peters is all about?

Here’s the backstory: Colorado used to dedicate sales tax revenue from automobile parts and accessories to roads. Which honestly seems reasonable, given roads are where cars generally go (Man, if I could still get away with a drunk driving joke, this would be a perfect spot).

But the legislature ended that sensible funding stream. We don’t really do road funding anymore. I don’t need to convince you of that. Instead, we currently do incentives for front-end alignment shops.

Now there’s a potential citizen initiative that might restore that road-funding mechanism. Maybe it makes the ballot. Maybe voters approve it. Maybe they don’t.

That’s how democracy is supposed to work.

But HB-1430 essentially says, “That’s cute. Your vote still won’t matter.”

If voters approve returning the road funding, with 1430 lawmakers will reduce road funding by the exact same amount.

Thankfully, Colorado is governed by people who understand democracy far better than voters do.

Thank God Colorado’s one-party rulers are here to save democracy from the voters.

Jon Caldara is president of Independence Institute, a free market think tank in Denver.