Sleight of Hand

Caldara: Polis the magician performs his latest sleight of hand

Jon Caldara September 28, 2022

Imagine if Polis didn’t always try play to both sides and took full and proud responsibility for his actions.

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Legislators from both sides of the aisle fleeing the gold dome

By Jon Caldara

I remember asking a Denver cop how the morale was among his peers. His answer, “Well, let me put it this way. Yesterday, I arrested a guy for stealing four cars. Two hours later, I arrested the very same guy for stealing a car again.” Criminals who are issued the equivalent of a parking ticket and kicked out of jail in mere minutes after their major felonies must be a greater demotivator for cops than a doughnut ban.

How can you keep doing your job when your work is rigged so, no matter how hard you endeavor, it doesn’t really make any difference? Imagine being in charge of recruiting police officers in large metro cities today.

The same sense of making no real difference, of complete irrelevance, is infecting the ranks of Colorado Republican legislators. It’s so bad, two of the best have decided to quit their jobs, pull up stakes, and get the hell out of Dodge.

Senate Majority Leader Paul Lundeen was perhaps the most sane, articulate, politically savvy and principled Republican under the Gold Dome. In any other state he’d be looking to run for governor. But this isn’t any other state, so, instead, he’s looking to run away.

This is the hyper-progressive state of Colorado. Being in the micro-minority year after year after year and watching freedom-limiting, economy-killing, social engineering bills becoming law, well, it has got to be like the cop watching everyone he arrests back out on the street moments after being caught

Honestly, how do you get up in the morning?

Lundeen is fleeing to take a job with the American Excellence Foundation to spread the word of limited government to states that might listen.

So that Paul doesn’t feel alone in his escape from the asylum — I’m sorry, the “unsupervised mental health facility” — the equally sane House Minority Whip Ryan Armagost is bolting out of the state for an undisclosed “fantastic professional opportunity” in Arizona

Rumor has it he landed a more enjoyable and respected job there like telemarketer, pig slaughterer, crack whore or even assistant crack whore.

Is there a more lonely and frankly useless job in Colorado, outside of Rockies general manager, than being a Republican state legislator, shooting rubber bands at bad ideas?

Frankly, those who stay and fight, I’m looking at you, Rose Pugliese, are amazingly optimistic and resilient people who deserve at least a commercial by Sarah McLachlan. “Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan. Will you be an angel for a helpless legislator? Everyday, innocent Republican legislators are abused, beaten and neglected. And they’re crying out for help. For just $5 million a month, you can rescue these legislators from their abusers.”

But it’s not just abused Republicans who can no longer take it. The growing civil war between Democrats is beginning to take its toll.

Remember that scene from “Gone with the Wind” with the acres of wounded laying around the train station? In Colorado, the merely-progressive Democrats of the North are attacked by the socialist Democrats of the South with similar results.

Recall, Democrats have near veto-proof majorities in both houses, all statewide offices, including governor and attorney general, and judges almost completely appointed by progressive Democrat governors. Like your sibling whom your parents love more than you, Democrats get whatever they want.

Your wallet is their oyster. Resigning in 2023, Democratic Rep. Ruby Dickson said the “sensationalistic and vitriolic nature of the current political environment is not healthy for me or my family.”

Democratic Rep. Said Sharbini left, citing “the polarized and contentious climate in the state House.” Sen. Sonya Jaquez Lewis said the job was emotionally and physically tough when she recently split.

But these spoiled kids can have anything they want. They’re not squabbling with Republicans. Republicans aren’t even in the equation. Republicans are hiding in the janitor’s closet hoping not to be found and slapped around. These Democrats are backbiting fellow Democrats.

The “sensationalistic and vitriolic” unhealthy environment is amongst themselves. The polarization and emotional toll isn’t coming from the feckless Republicans.

Team Left is beginning to eat their own.

More than 20% of our legislators were never voted into office in the first place. They were appointed to fill vacancies of those who wanted to get out.

Though this calls for reform of how vacancies are filled, the bigger question is, what are the Democrats doing to make the place so unlivable?

Legislators from both sides of the aisle fleeing the gold dome

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Sleight of Hand

Caldara: Polis the magician performs his latest sleight of hand

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Legislators from both sides of the aisle fleeing the gold dome

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